Quote of the day

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Steven Wright

Question of the day

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because the sound of zippers scares the sheep away.

Joke of the day

What do you get when you mix Rogaine and Viagra?

Hair that stands straight up on your head!

Joke of the day

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''

Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''

Joke of the day

A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing.The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed.So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Iron this."

Joke of the day

A cop pulls over a drunk driver. The drunk driver says, "Ossssifer, you need to get your records straight. You just asked me for my license, but you took it away yesterday!"